


Basic Relationship Development

by kazoobard



Category: Community
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27206066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kazoobard/pseuds/kazoobard
Summary: Troy thinks he’s happy. Both Britta and Abed know he’s not.
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 3
Kudos: 124





	Basic Relationship Development

Troy turns over, drawing his arms to his chest. He takes deep, quiet breaths, trying to banish the tears pushing their way out. It’s not cool to cry after sex, and he really doesn’t want Britta to see that. It’s not like it was bad, he just felt weirdly lonely the entire time. It’s embarrassing to even think about.

Britta sighs, and Troy hears the rustling of fabric– she’s putting her bra back on. Somewhere distant in his brain, Troy wishes she’d feel comfortable enough to stay naked, or at least to wear Troy’s clothes instead of her own. Not that he’s done anything to earn that.

“Do you want me to stay for breakfast?”

Troy turns. Britta’s standing next to the bed, pulling her jeans on. He shakes his head. “You don’t have to.”

“Cool, so that means no.”

“No, I–“

Britta rolls her eyes, giving him a small salute. She slings her bag over her shoulder. “It’s cool. See you later. Señor Kevin’s?”

Troy nods. “Bye,” he says meekly. Britta flashes a peace sign over her shoulder as the door shuts.

Troy lays for another thirty minutes before he finds the energy to drag himself out of bed. Abed is sitting at the kitchen island, on what is probably his third helping of cereal. “Hi,” he says, not looking up.

“Hey.” Troy moves around the island, resting his elbows on the counter.

Abed slides a second bowl toward him. “It’s two-thirds marshmallows.”

Troy cracks a smile, poking at it with his spoon. “Thanks.”

“I saw Britta leave today. She didn’t hug me on her way out, which she usually does.”

“She does?”

“I suspect she’s feeling guilty.”

Troy shrugs, ignoring the question itching at the back of his mind. “I dunno, maybe she was just tired.”

Abed finally looks up, and Troy’s eyes immediately flit away. Abed’s eyes are too intense and dark, and Troy can’t handle that right now. He doesn’t want to think about Abed’s eyes, or Britta’s guilt, or anything. “Do you wanna watch Inspector Spacetime?”

Abed pauses. He’s studying Troy. “Okay.”

————

Dinner at Señor Kevin’s is weird. Britta scowls down at her food the whole time, and doesn’t even pretend to be interested in Troy’s Inspector Spacetime recap. He’s about halfway through the episode plot when she slams her fork on the table with a clatter.

“Are you gay?”

Troy blinks. “Um...” He doesn’t know what to say. He should scoff and say no, of course not, because that’s the truth, but he’s stuck. Why does Britta think he’s gay? What has he done that would make her think that? And most importantly, how can he make sure nobody ever thinks that again?

Troy takes a deep breath, trying to keep his voice steady. “Um, why... why would you ask me that?” It comes across smaller and more hurt than he intended, and he cringes.

“I won’t be mad if you are.” Britta pauses, adjusting her statement. “Or, I mean I won’t be super mad. Just the normal amount of mad for a girl dating a gay guy.”

“I’m not gay.”

“Okay.” She doesn’t believe him.

Troy scowls back at her. “Stop that. I’m not gay, it’s the truth.”

Britta raises her hands in defeat. “Alright, fine. You’re not gay.”

They go back to eating in silence. Troy kind of wants to cry. He mostly wants to go home and watch TV until his brain rots.

It’s quiet for a long time– or, what feels like a long time. And then he can’t stand it anymore. He takes a deep breath.

“Why did you think I was gay?”

Britta shrugs. “You always seem really pumped to hang out with me until i wanna kiss you or have sex with you.”

“But i do kiss you. And have sex with you.” Troy’s eyes go wide. “Am I bad at it?”

“No, you just...” Britta rakes a hand through her hair, exasperated. “I don’t know, Troy. Only being intimate because your partner wants to isn’t healthy.”

“Did you learn that in Psych 101?”

“No, I learned that from my damn life.” Britta raises an eyebrow, and Troy can’t argue. She has had some truly awful relationships. “Troy, what do you... what do you want from us?”

“I dunno. I like what we’re doing.”

Britta’s smile is almost sad. “No, you don’t.” Troy opens his mouth to retort, but Britta beats him to it. “When was the last time you made a decision in this relationship? A real, actual decision?”

Troy is silent.

Britta stands. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”

“Does this mean you’re breaking up with me?” Troy’s voice is fragile. He hates it.

“No,” Britta says. “I’m not making any more decisions for you. You gotta do this one yourself.”

————

The car ride is long and quiet. Troy spends the time staring out the window, feeling the soft thrum of movement. When they ease to a stop in front of the apartment, Britta announces “Here!” a little too brightly.

Troy doesn’t move. “Britta... if... if I were gay... what would that mean?”

“I don’t know.” Her seatbelt clicks– she’s unbuckling. Settling in. “What do you think it would mean?”

Troy takes a deep breath. His throat is clogged. He stares at his lap. “I think it would mean... that I would make my mom cry. And it would mean that my life would be harder. But also easier, too? And it would mean...” He bites back tears, a wave of cold dread running through him. “It would mean that I’d have to admit... that I want Abed. I really, really want him.”

In the next moment, Troy is enveloped in a hug. Britta’s leaning awkwardly over the seat to reach him, and her elbow is digging into his ribs, but it’s what he needs. He hugs back the best he can, quickly undoing his seatbelt so that he can have better access.

Britta holds him for a long time, only pausing to adjust when she accidentally hits the car horn. Eventually Troy pulls away, and Britta does too, keeping her hands rested on his shoulders. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Troy says. Britta knows it’s a lie, she has to, but she lets it go. Troy chews the inside of his cheek. “I think we should break up.”

“I think so too, kiddo.”

————

The apartment is quiet and dark. Troy enters his room to change in his pajamas and startles when he re-enters the living room. Annie is at the table, passed out over a book. He pauses to cover her in a blanket before entering the fort.

“Hey Abed,” he whispers, “Are you awake?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Troy lingers, picking at a stray thread from one of the blankets. “Can I come lay in bed with you?”

Abed doesn’t make a noise, but Troy can hear the bedsprings squeaking. He climbs up to the top bunk and lays next to him. It’s laundry day, so Abed’s not wearing his pajamas, instead having opted for an old t-shirt and boxers.

Troy stares up at the ceiling. Abed is quiet. He’s not ignoring him, just waiting.

“Britta and I broke up.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, I– I broke up with her.”

“...Oh.”

“And I think I...” Troy shifts, moving to lay on his side. “I think I didn’t want Britta the way I thought I did.”

Abed’s eyes are huge. Troy always liked Abed’s eyes. They were usually comforting, but now they pin Troy down, trapping him, terrifying him. His voice is low. “What do you want?”

There’s a space between them. And then there’s not. And in the next moment, there never has been. Troy’s hands grip Abed’s shirt, and Abed releases a soft groan into his mouth. Troy’s head spins. He can’t breathe, and as Abed’s hand slides down to rest on his waist, he thinks maybe he doesn’t need to.

But then they’re coming up for air, and Abed’s breathing heavily, his lips parted, and Troy is short-circuiting.

“Troy...”

“I’m sorry.”

“Troy.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking–“

“Troy.”

It’s loud, forceful. Troy shuts his mouth. He’s never heard Abed sound like that.

Abed stares at him, intense and deadly serious. “Please do that again.”

Troy’s hands lift slowly up to cup Abed’s face. Abed’s eyelids flutter closed, and he tightens his grip on Troy’s waist. Troy kisses him again, more sure this time, and Abed whines. It’s different from his meltdown whine, more breathy and wanting. It’s intoxicating.

Troy bites at Abed’s lip and Abed rocks his hips forward. It’s good, it’s too good, and Troy’s body wants more, but his brain is screaming for some space.

He pulls back, and it’s the hardest thing he’s ever done. “Abed... can we...?”

Abed knows immediately. “It’s too much.”

Troy nods. “I just... I just figured this out a minute ago, and I just need to... think.”

“Okay.” Abed smiles microscopically. It sends warmth through Troy’s veins.

“Do you think you could... hold me?” He’s embarrassed to even ask, but Abed doesn’t hesitate. He pulls Troy close to his chest, his steady breathing putting Troy almost immediately to sleep.

————

The next morning, Troy cries in Abed’s arms.

After Troy calms down, after Abed refuses to accept his apologies, he buries his face into Abed’s pajama shirt. “How long have you–“

“A long time.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for making you wait.”

Abed hums, and it echoes through Troy’s entire body. “I’m not.”

“No?”

“No. I’d wait as long as I needed to.”

Troy nuzzles into Abed’s chest, body heavy with sleep. He notes, somewhere far off in his mind, that Abed’s wearing his t-shirt.


End file.
